Yup. That’s the suggestion for a profile headline that you’ll get if you watch free YouTube videos about online dating. Specifically, dating profile advice. “It’s catchy,” says the nice lady, “describes me well, and lets men know I’m serious.” Sigh. I’d call it just as boring as the next profile headline that will have little to no real bearing on whether or not a man will approach you online, but that’s okay.
The video goes on, and the next tip pops up. If you need help, use lines from movies for your headline. The specific example given is about a guy who once used, “Nobody puts baby in a corner.” Now, I don’t know about you, but I had no clue what that meant. At first take, it sounds like a banner for child-abuse prevention. I certainly wouldn’t find it clever if I were surfing through men on a dating site and saw it. What? Is that a fetish reference? Turns out it’s from the movie, Dirty Dancing. Okay, is it just me, or was that movie made in 1987? Seriously folks, how old is that and who knows that line? Right. There are four of you. Shoot me, but before you do, tell me this. Did it make you spend any more time on that guy’s profile if you didn’t like his photos to begin with? Not.
Another thing you’ll hear about is being honest, not posting old or unrealistic pictures, good usernames, blah, blah, blah. Four minutes, 26 seconds of tips that are the same tips you’ll get in 100 other YouTube videos posted by self-professed “experts” of online dating.
Is it valid advice? Sure, to some extent. But what’s missing every single time is the depth. I’m not sure what qualifies all those YouTube videographers as experts so I looked it up. Merriam Webster tells me that expert means: having, involving or displaying special skill or knowledge derived from training or experience. Interesting. I didn’t know there was a UODNY (University of Online Dating, New York). Do they have a basketball team? Oh, so it’s not really derived from formal training. All right, so it must be about experience then. Let me compare. One must invest eleven to fifteen years to become a doctor in an area of specialization. It takes eight to ten years to become a judge (the expert of all lawyers). Heck, to be considered a Senior Project Manager, you have to have ten years of hands-on experience. So it seems to me as if ten years is a pretty solid number where experts are concerned.
So, I’m doing the math and thinking: If Miss 30-something there is an expert, then she must have at least ten years hands-on experience with online dating, right? So, she went online looking for love when she was 20-something, and now makes YouTube videos that you are going to follow and take as biblical advice as it relates to your love life.
Things that make you go hmm.
Here’s the thing. If you’re going to be the expert and impart advice, you have to know what online dating really is. Hands-on. You also have to explain why things are the way they are. You can tell a dog to sit, and he will. Chances are, even he knows why—because he’ll get a treat.
So let’s rewind. She mentions having a catchy headline. I say put whatever you like. Guys don’t care. They aren’t going to remember you. They’re going to bookmark or favorite you while they continue to scroll through pictures of women. It’s like fishing. They throw out a dozen lines and wait to see if they get a bite.
She mentions having good, clear, and realistic photos. I agree but there’s no depth to that statement. I always tell my readers to have (yes... good, clear, accurate) photos that show a lot of skin, but are classy. An example might be a full-length shot in a sleeveless summer dress. Why? Because men love skin. It’s want they want most, to see us naked. They are visual. Repeat, they are visual.
She also mentions usernames. Guys won’t remember your username any more than they will your profile headline. At least not until you’re corresponding regularly through the site. Even then, your username doesn’t matter. If you’re hot in his eyes, you can be HAIRYPITGIRL, and he’ll probably think it’s cute. My only suggestion here is to stay away from booty-call names if you’re truly looking for love. BIGTITTYKITTY isn’t likely to stir up the interests of a guy looking for a long-term relationship, if you know what I mean.
Online dating isn’t a college course. You can’t get a degree in it, and you can’t apply traditional dating rules to it. You also can’t give expert advice on it if you haven’t lived it. There are more than 50 million people on these sites, and let’s face it. It’s a freaking zoo. The bottom line is, if you’re online, frustrated with the whole experience, and looking for advice, check out the credentials of the person you choose to listen to. If there are no credentials listed, chances are, that so-called expert has none. It’s like going to a doctor, dentist, or any other expert you take advice from. Do your homework. After all, this is your love life. You could very well be meeting the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. I wouldn’t call that small potatoes. It’s worth a little effort, and so are you.
